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Secret Message

I've learned my lesson, and this time some things are going to be different; the way it should've been the first time...  I'll make it up to you, somehow.  I'll figure out a way to make it up to you; I have to...you deserve the best, better than I ever gave you.  "You never know how much something means to you, until it's no longer yours"...(even if it WAS my fault)  There's so much I could tell you, but I can't...couldn't even begin to.  But if it's true how you tell me you think we're meant for each other...I'll have plenty of time to tell you later on.  I pray it won't be long...or else that God would just spare me the torment of just sitting by and watching, wishing, and hoping.  But then again, I put you through all that...so I get what I deserve, and I can never tell you how sorry I really am; nor how much I regret past decisions I've made.  We had it made; we had what others could only wish for.  We were wonderful, perfect, the best ever...and I gave it up.  Only a fool would let you go as I did...  I can't be just your friend.  It's not good enough.  I want more, I want you.  I want you like I had you...as mine.  We had it all...all that was needed... 
 
Nothing serious at first...  just a relationship based upon a strong friendship.  Friends going out for dinner and a movie.  Friends hanging out at the mall, getting to know each othe better...and slowly moving towards something more, something greater.  Not to be hurt as before, we must gradually grow closer, nothing sudden.  Let others get accustomed to us, instead of forbidding our decision.  I just want you in my arms once again.  I could never ask for more, than what you gave me; than what you did for me.  I'm forever grateful, and forever regretful I let it go...  I'm so foolish, Alicia.  Everytime I gave it up, I got hurt.  Coincidence?  I don't think so.  It'll all work out, but it takes two.  Me, and you.  Nothing more, nothing less.  We can make it happen.  I for one am willing to put all mistakes in the past (referring to mine of course).  All the pain, heartache, and tears...  I'd like to take you to dinner some time.  Just two friends, having a nice dinner together.  Possibly even a movie someday.  I have great ideas for romantic nights for the two of us, further down the road.  I look forward to being with you again.  In God's time...we will be reunited. 
 
Do keep in mind that by me telling you this, I must stress my caution to lead you on.  I'm not saying we're gonna get married, nor that we'll never break up again.  Ok?  Those are things you know no one can promise.  And if I did, what would I do if I broke that promise?  Besides kill myself.  I just want another chance, to see what would've happened had I not begun listening to bull crap from others.  Like the way we were in the beginning, after you broke up with me a few times.  lol  Please don't let me break you and Chris up, but do know that I want another chance.  Please don't lead me on either.  I don't wanna hear that we'll have another chance maybe someday, or that you still like me or anything else like that, and then you're dating someone else.  That's not fair...and it's not cool.  I can't just sit around and wait for you to break up with whomever you may be dating now and later on.  Just understand that...ok?  Don't make me think you want me back, and date other people...

E

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